BOOM!!
by Lucky8
Summary: Me and my friend were high on sugar when we wrote this so don't blame us. Blame the suger.3 CHAPTERS?!
1. Default Chapter

This is a warning for everyone. This fic is complete and utter nonsense and should be avoided at all costs. If you are already insane then I would welcome any reviews.

Flames shall be used to roast marshmallows. 

It was a typical day at Hogwarts. Harry was running away from his ever hysterical mob of fans, Ron was sulking in the shadows wishing it was him who was so popular and Hermione was in the library (a/n There's a surprise) 

While Harry was bowled over and stripped naked by his fans there was a big

BOOM!

Colin Creevy looked up from taking his fifty two hundredth millionth photo of Harry and screamed. BOOM! Colin was dead. To be truthful no one really cared. The thing that was really bothering them was WHY Colin was dead. BOOM! Voldie appeared.

He laughed evilly and said 'muahahahahah!!!!!!! Now you shall all be killed by the BOOM curse! Muahahahahahah!!!!!!'

BOOM! Ten people dropped down dead including Harry. Ron cheered.

'Finally Harry has gone! Now I shall never be in his shadow again!!!!! Muahahahahahahah!!!!'

Harry stood up with a look of pure shock on his face.

'Darn it' Thought Ron.

'WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING??!!' yelled Harry 'I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO DIE!! I'M THE HERO, YOU MUST ALL RESPECT ME!! LOOK AT ME! I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M WITTY' I'M FUNNY I'M TALENTED I'M THE BOY WHO LIVED I'M……..

'Bloody annoying' thought Ron

BOOM!!!!!!

Harry dropped dead again.

Ron put his wand back in his pocket.  The entire school and Voldie cheered and patted Ron on the back.

'Nice one Ron' Said Voldie and BOOM! He was gone and about twenty less people were standing.

Harry stood up again 'HOW DARE YOU KILL ME IN MID RANT, RON!!!' He yelled 'THAT'S NOT MEANT TO HAPPEN TO ME!! I'M…'

'Still naked' Said Ron.

Harry looked down, screamed like a girl and dropped dead from embarrassment. 

Hermione came running over to them.

'What on earth is going on here?!' She yelled. 'I can't read this book with all those BOOMS going on * She holds up a book called '101 useless facts that will never help you in any way at all'* She continued to nag at them……..

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hermione drops dead

The entire school including all the teachers put away their wands. 

'Much better' Said Dumbledore.

Then Ron took out his wand and said 'Now I shall have complete world domination with this spell. Muahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' He aimed his wand at everyone.

                                                       BOOM!!!

                              The end.

I feel that I should put an apology here for everyone who has read this. I am extremely sorry and will never do something like this again. I promise. * Crosses fingers behind her back* 


	2. Oh God, not another chapter!

I can't believe that I have made a second chapter on this. * bows head in shame*

WHATS WRONG WITH ME????????????

Anyhooslers, in this chapter Ron does his best to take over the world. God help us.

BOOM!!

Ron Weasly appeared and he let out a terrifying laugh.

'Muahahahahahahahahahahah…cough splutter cough' OK, maybe a mildly daft laugh.

He recovered from his coughing fit and straightened up. 

You may be wondering where Ron was, Ron was wondering this too. He seemed to be in a large room and he noticed that he was surrounded by Muggles.

He had apperated from his home because his mother kept on moaning at him to tidy his room , and he didn't want to.

FLASHBACK

                       'RON WEASLEY! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU, YOU ARE NOT BEING SENT TO AZKABAN FOR LIFE IMPRRISONMENT FOR KILLING 15000 PEOPLE UNTILL YOU HAVE TIDED YOUR ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

END OF FLASHBACK.

So there he was standing in the middle of what looked like a muggle dinner party.

His first thought was 's**t'

His second thought was 'f**k'

Then his first sensible thought was 'hey, does this mean that I'm not going to Azkaban anymore?'

Then he had another thought 'I'LL USE THE BOOM!! CURSE ON THEM.'(A/n I bet you were wondering when that word would crop up again)

So he whipped out his wand and quicker than you could say 'my auntie went horse riding during the summer holiday in Greece but  fell off and broke her arm and had to go to hospital so she could  get a metal plate in it. From now on the metal detector at the airport will go off every time she goes through it. She is still in hospital recovering. I have sent flowers, chocolates and cards. She also has been diagnosed with complete and utter insanity and will be moved to a hospital for the clinically insane next week' he had uttered the fatal word BOOM!! And all were dead.

Just everyone was dropping dead Harry appeared.

'When will you die Potter?' he snarled, doing an excellent impression of Draco Malfoy.

'I don't die, I'm the hero of the book' said Harry. He  was getting into a bit of a rage.

'I SHALL NEVER DIE BECAUSE I AM THE BOY WHO LIVES!! I'M PRETTY I'M FUN I'M FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE I'M A POET AND DON'T KNOW IT I'M…'

BOOM!!

(a/n OK I'll do something original)

Harry dropped dead. (a/n I lied.)

Ron set off to claim the world as his. But that is another story 

                                               The end 

 I don't know how to say this but I think that there's going to be another chapter.


	3. Yet another collection of drabble.

     Sorry but we had nothing to do today so we have wrote another chapter. Sincere apologies to anyone who reads this 

        At the end of the last chapter Ron had set off to take over the world. 

He was doing fine and was just killing his millionth victim when **BOOM!!** Voldie appeared. 

' I've got you now Potter' he laughed evilly '* clears throat* Muahahahahahahahahahah!!!'

'Potter? You bloody buffoon. He's died at least four times in the last two chapters' Said Ron quietly.

'Eh?' said Voldie.

'Daft prick' Muttered Ron

'Whawazat?!' screamed voldie.

'Deaf as a dick' said Ron under his breath.

'TELL ME WHAT YOU SAID POTTER!

'WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME POTTER HAD RED HAIR AND NO LIGHTNING BOLT SCAR!?' Yelled Ron.

'Wait a minute,' said Voldie as realisation dawned on his face, 'your not Potter, your that Mrs Norris ain't you?'

'FOR CHRIST'S SAKE YOU SILLY OLD GIT, MRS NORRIS IS A CAT!!' Shouted Ron. 'My name is Ron!!!!'

A light bulb appeared over Voldies head.  

'You're the one who is always killing potter!'   

'CONGRATULATION'S SIR YOU HAVE WON A LUXURY TRIP TO THE CARRIBEAN'

'Really?!'

'No' said Ron 

Voldie was disappointed and took a tantrum.

'YOU SAID I WAS GOING TO THE CARRIBEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!'Voldie drew out his wand and prepared to use the **BOOM!!** Curse. 'I'LL GET YOU POTTER!!!' He yelled.

'I give up' said Ron and drew out his own wand to prepare for the **BOOM!!** Curse

'RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH' they both yelled and……..

_BOOM!!_

The impact sent them both over a cliff that just so happened to be there.

They both landed on a branch that also just happened to be there.

'NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE GOT US INTO YOU THICK SHITE!!' 

' IT WASN'T MY FAULT POTTER!'

'WAS'

'WASN'T'

'WAS'

'WASN'T

Suddenly a voice called out.

'Is anybody down there?!'

'YES! , WHO IS IT? HELP US!!!'

'IT IS I, THE WITTY, THE TALENTED, INDESTRUCTABLE.. AND NOT TO FORGET GOOD LOOKING

          HARRY POTTER! WHO IS IT THET NEEDS MY HELP?'

Silence

'HALLO?'

Silence

'Anyone?'

Harry shrugged and walked off leaving Ron and Voldie on the branch.

**_Will_** Ron and Voldie survive this terrible ordeal or will the branch break and end their miserable lives?

**_Will_** Harry ever die??

**_Will_** the authors ever find anything else to do with their time?

Find out next time _on_ **BOOM!!**


End file.
